Competitions and tournaments are an integral part of any sport. The experience of participating in any competitions and tournaments is extremely important for the formation of the necessary sports skills.

For the child, above all, it is a unique experience of interaction with other children, the experience of learning to cope with unexpected situations, and the opportunity to solve more and more new problems.

But what to do if a child has a strong fear of losing and this prevents him or her from tuning in to the game and being successful?

To help your child overcome the fear of defeat, we advise you to take a few simple steps:

• Allow your child to show his emotions (including negative ones). Accept his feelings – let him get angry, annoyed, and at the same time talk to him about how you feel. For example: “When you refuse to play a game because you have no chance of winning, I get upset. I don’t understand what makes you think you won’t win, because you haven’t even entered the game yet? I wish you would have learned to draw conclusions after the tournament or the whole competition, not before.” In this way, you are inviting your child to the opportunity to open up and share his worries, and instead of shutting down and giving an ultimatum, “I’m not going to the game!” he can share what is really bothering him and get support from you, which will help him greatly.
• Let the child know that such a fear is normal and undoubtedly surmountable, that many people who are strong and authoritative for him have also experienced it and struggled with it. To do this, tell him or her a story from your own experience: how you, too, were once worried and afraid, how your hands and feet were shaking, how your stomach was twisting before something important and responsible (a game, an exam, etc.). In this case, it is important to talk not so much about the victories and medals that you received in spite of this fear, but about how you tried, did not give up, tried again and again.
• If possible, talk to your coach. Let him also tell a story about himself and his experience of overcoming.
• Never scold your child if he or she loses and his or her performance in the tournament didn’t turn out well! Don’t tell him that you are disappointed in him, that he played poorly – this will only increase his fear of the next games and games. Discuss the game with him together. Ask him what he did well this time. Ask his opinion on his own mistakes, praise him if he detects and analyzes them.

In any case, encourage him, tell him that you are proud that he is taking part in tournaments. Explain that participation is often much more important than winning, and that he will have many more opportunities and chances to prove himself.

Such words can help your child feel reassured and supported by you.

It’s important to build your child’s interest in the competition process itself, and to keep him interested in the game itself.

First aid:

There are times when fear becomes too much and a child loses control of his or her own behavior and cannot play. In order to bring him to his senses and help him tune in to play do the following:

Sit your child in a chair so that his feet are on the ground and his feet are firmly pressed to the floor. Ask him to take two short intense breaths in through his nose and a long breath out through his mouth. Rapid, shallow and superficial breaths and exhalations excite the nervous system, while slow, calm and measured breaths calm it down. This will help calm the child here and now and create an opportunity for a productive mood.